Entry - Church

Entry - God

Entry - Freedom

Faces.

Look beyond a face. and eyes.
Look into the air that surrounds a face.
Look at me.

Shush.

One day you'll come searching for me, and not just with your eyes.

See me with someone else, and walk away silent.

As silent as you were when I was stripped by those gruesome strangers at that shady bar.

As silent as you were when I had to leave the city.

As silent as you were when I told you I liked you.

As silent as you were when you kissed me back.

As silent as the hatred in your eyes when you realized you liked me too.

But I've had many first kisses,

the ones I agreed to, and the ones I dint agree to.

What does it matter as long as I keep silent.

-The kiss that mattered.

Why Must We Hide to Sin?

You lost a brother,

I lost my child.

He couldn't be with the world's greatest sister.

And I wouldn't be the world's best mum.

What do you find beauty in?

Bullet-Proof.

24 Hours Emergency and Trauma Care

The nights- Longer

Heart- Weaker

Time- Ticking

Breath- Sickening

I used to stare.

Through the mirror

Through the gap between my eyes

Through my lashes

Through my bed spread

Imperfection ran along my fingers

Tapping them

Tap-Tap-Tap

Waiting; Walk in man.

Through them too

Even those nights when you

slept right next to me

I stared

I stare all the time

Through the back of my head

When you aren't there

Through someone else

Through the old tv

Through my ricocheting eyes

You've become my sight.

Thawing away at my skin

How else will I get through the night?

The nurse just says I need to cry.

-Not Tempted To Heal.

Tribute To Women

Couldn't let go

I always want more

I'm the greed that agrees with Satan

I'm the lust, keep waiting

Emasculating

I'm the blood you lack

Your smoke stack

I'm the power that drained you sinners

And I'm that girl;

Veins of solid crack.

Mamihlapinatapei

Mamihlapinatapei ( Yagan ) means,

The worldless yet meaningful look shared by two people who desire to initiate something, but are both reluctant to start.


In case,
You feel like running away
Know that I ran away once.

In case,
You feel like staying put
Know that I never left
Your illusions clouded mine.

Toska- Russian ("No single word in English renders all the shades of toska. At its deepest and most painful, it is a sensation of great spiritual anguish, often without any specific cause. At less morbid levels it is a dull ache of the soul, a longing with nothing to long for, a sick pining, a vague restlessness, mental throes, yearning. In particular cases it may be the desire for somebody of something specific, nostalgia, love-sickness. At the lowest level it grades into ennui, boredom.)

Peeled off my lips 

Burn

Stood on my baby's chest

Jump

Rolled on the temple grounds 

Learn

Pulled off my lashes

Cum

Journeyed to the tip of my nose 

Observe 

Carelessly pulled down my pants 

Preserve 

Tolerated your abuse

Measure 

Waited for that seething memory 

Leisure

Stuck to mankind 

Stupid 

No more adrenaline 

Cut my thigh 

Lucid 

I'm only ten years old.

Suited,looted.

Le Cercueil

Le cercueil 

French ;where the dead belong. 

Our baby never lived, 

Said mamma and papa fought

Fought over god

The same God that killed me

And killed you.

Our baby never loved.

He said, this can't ever happen again.

He dint know that mama was a rookie

That mama dint know what else to be

Mama only loves. 

Mama doesn't know how;

Our baby never died

Our baby breathes through the hollow casket our bloodied veins fought to build. 

For my betterment?

Just this once, I fought.

I fought for myself,

I physically fought,

I fought for my right,

I fought for my well being

I was ageing.

My oh so bubbly aura

Crumpled,

I was not fond of the world,

I did not care

The world in turn burned my soul

While I caressed her wounds.

Infection.

While I caressed her cheek,

While I caressed her feet

She conveyed her wound into my being

Infected my brain

I would decay

Decay like my mothers heart

When I touch a cigarette

Burning, Yearning

Singed

She’d come when I'd be nearly gone

She was my weakness now

Unknown Pride within me,

I caressed her

She caressed the world.

Don't know what we were fighting against,

Nothing but us existed in our Jannat

We exchanged blows

Together and against

Got to stay apart

Got to stop ourselves from giving out

To feel our tongues touch again

Wept till my heart became as small as hers

Wept my swept feet back to the ground

We pushed each other away

Filled with rage and distrust

I shoved her aside

Fell asleep in each other's arms

Hoping I'd never have to wake up to see her dreadful eyes again

Her pained smile

Or the meaningless mole on her nose;

Couldn't bear the air that let us breathe.

Sebastian

I like high all the time
I want high all the time
I want stress-free all the time
I don't anymore.

Soft kisses on my neck
Stopped time; The once it happened,
My heart stopped; couldn't lend.
Cried, wet sheets; wet mouth
Bit his lower lip hard; trigger
Pain; trigger vain,
My brain bled instead,
Alone out there; trying to ignore
Trying to Ignite
Life in disguise; his big hands,
Held me tight,
Suffocate, laugh, blink, sunrise?
Red, blue, brown hair glinting,
Winking;
He played; tightening;
Felt my flawed ear,
While I kissed away my fear.
Mere sight; my blood pounded
Without a sound
His pretty face on my palm;
The Whole world in my hand;
My drunken self on him; Calm.
We thought, reckoned,
Prayed, hoped,
Doped;
Felt his lips for the first time.

The Middle Child.

Lies,Torments,Scams
Cheats, Fries everyone's head;
Cries.

Hurts, Forgets, Disrespect,
Love and Family,
Dissects.

Dives, Disloyal, Dissident,
Deceitful and invincible,
An imbecile.

Impulsive, Insensitive
Irrespective of God's wrath;
or a beloved deeds?
A callow weed.

Inked, Impure, Erred,
A sinner, Crack,
Smack Smack Smack,
An unfortunate blunder?

Stammers, Senile and Shaken,
Faking, Breaking;
A misshapen Satan.

Lost, Alone, Wonderment,
Amusement; Better Annihilated,
Better eradicate,
Better not create,
A misshapen Satan.

Swore

Among the screeching owls,
my soul spoke
to one of its own kind and
burnt itself.
Soared to one corner,
bled profusely
and withered.
As dead as a human mind,
as dead as mine,
flesh and blood dried up.
Yellow and searing,
the feathers buoyant;
sewed up my lovers heart.

I saw him walking alone

With a heavy heart,

He walked from his parent’s house

He went to her,

He went home.

She was hiding,

Scared as he knew she would be

He couldn't bring himself to look at her terrified face,

It was engraved in his.

He couldn’t bring himself to tell her,

To tell her that they were dead,

With no chance of ressurection.

She whimpered and looked at the floor,

Averting her gaze

Ran up to her room.

And slept.

He slept too.

They both knew hope survived to kill them.

Because that's what friends are for.

See, one night,

While I was sleeping,

God asked me,

To keep dreaming.

And so I did.

I dreamt about you.

How you sat by me

and talked all the way,

How I felt the wind blow,listening,

Now remembering,

it was quite a hot day :')

I swept my hair, back,

Turned to look At you, you were laughing..

Your head tilting,

I tilted mine and I sat back, smiling.

And then came those days,

I thought you'd want to go home,

I thought you'd want to be normal.

More days,

When you were a friends friend,

A friends friends friend.

And then,the day we spat.

At the past,

Sitting side by side, leg to leg,

"Cheers" with our switches,

Peering at the night sky

Searching, for a lost star.

That day, something said we'd last.

Claimed, trashed

 Possessed,loved of course,

Sought after and cried over I was.

Only you though,managed

To send a kiss to my heart.