Lonelines

I’ve had everything, I have everything

Shamelessly, I can’t help but say

I have nothing.

I’ve had everyone, I have everyone

And as stupid as it may seem,

I sense I’m alone, I’m in no team.

I wake up everyday from the dead,

(Do I?)

Wandering here and there...

Ignoring every instruction put against me

Helpless about what to be and what not.

Now, I think, a tissue is what I resemble

A weak object to be used and mercilessly thrown away,

Fingers crossed that ‘someone’ would come

And light the flames of hope in me,

For a brighter day.

I had to face ugly truths the hard way,

Difficult lessons at the worst.

And not one inch of anger or emotion in me...

One question is all I want answered.

Am I cursed?

Happiness is way out of proportion,

Depression, Guilt, Fury

I’d take anything as evidence.

Proof of that I’m alive.

I get freedom, I go out.

I travel, I ‘try’ to have fun.

Yet, I’m cooped up in me.

As in a well too high to climb out of.

As bad as my situation might seem to you,

I find it easy,

You see …..

Disappointment turned out to be pleasant for me.

You taught me how to love.

Hold my hand and sing with me,

As the moon shy fully sinks into the open sky.

Kiss my cheeks and be proud of me,

For who I am, For who I plan to be.

Stroke my hair and brush them with your soft hands,

For that turns out to be the greatest pleasure anyone can give me.

As we stand together side by side,

Our dainty toes dancing inside the sand,

Never wanting to end the moment.

Stand by me as I wander through the maze of life,

Hold me close at dead ends and closer at open roads.

Stroke my ears and whisper to me your wisdom,

Those wise words you learnt over the years.

Look into my eyes and tell me how much,

Tell me how much you love me.

How you’d never want to unfreeze this second.

You did your best with me,

And I’m ecstatic as I never got a reason,

Through all these years to get angry at you.

Moma, come to me, look at me, stay with me

And NEVER LET GO OF ME.

Some say that their parents don’t understand the meaning of love, relationships, commitments, breakups etc...

..I Disagree..

Between A Rock And A Hard Place.

The long waits in the sun always tired me out,

The long visions at night always kept me awake,

Dreaming,Hoping,Expecting

Later worthwhile and forgotten.

Hand in hand under the silver moon

Just standing there together..

No voice,No noise

Just the sounds of loud silence.

Always fearful of sure failure

Passing looks of love and emotion with a dash of fright,

Yet loving my way into unloyal fate.

Crying innocent tears of pleasure,

Knowing not when unpleasantness could be willed on me,

Lomg ready to accept destiny,

But not to leave the moment.

Wondering whether this feeling had a name

Love??!..Then explain the pain…

So much, that disappointment became enjoyable

That crying became laughter,

That loneliness was desirable,

All I could do was wait…

and maybe wait some more..

After all finishing the chapter dosent mean the book ceased

There’s always the next page..

Though I’d take dark nights with the moon than suffer dim days with the sun.

Perfection at it's worst.

It was like a blind woman seeing the sun for the first time
Joy as well as the satisfation of being paid your biggest desire.
Though darkness hadn’t brought on complaints or pain
The light had neither asked for problems nor sacrifices
It was luck..,pure luck.
He had been exactly like that
Brought me happiness even though I had calm and peace
Perfect…just too perfect.
Flawless.
And perfection never stays with us a long period
The reason why we all crave for it this much.

It was like the sun’s burnished rays hurt the pure petite eyes
And she closed it.
Not expecting to never open it again
The mistake of not expecting the unexpected.
She knew she could open her eyes
She also knew that she wouldn’t.
Everything had been too elated.Too perfect.
Retiring to live the life she once did was very inviting
Morosely not exciting
Hard to accept that she wouldn’t have the same effect again
That the same things never happen the same way twice.
She lived like before.
Calm,Peaceful.
But never happy.The sun and its polished light haunted her.

OF all the poems in my time,not only poems,but quotes and verses as well…none of them shows the accurate feelings I felt like this one.When I read this over and over,I felt the exact same pain I went through.I am kind of proud that I was able to convey my exact feelings through a poem.And unlike the other poems this one is based on a true life incident.I blend in with poems that build up emotions in a person.Or poems that don’t get you your tongue in cheek smile.I want the reader to understand the pain I went through by not giving away exactly what happened.The reader has to hav a tiny insight.Love is my easiest subject because I know what one feels like when you fall in love,what one feels like when you get rejected,what one feels like when you get cheated and I definetly know what one feels like when one gets accepted to live with someone for the rest of your uncertain life..

Love When You're Sixteen

The door opened with an intonating silence Heeding my senses, My eyes wandered over the place, To see him walking towards me with grace Looking into those never ending brown orbs of his, I felt a connection,a correlation, Though for a millisecond was the meet, It felt like days,eventually,forgetting i had him to greet I was once again reminded from the three s's Stuttering,sweating and stumbling All at once,with the thudding of the heart, I treid to get up,and ho,to the floor I went tumbling, With my face glowing like the setting sun, We shook our hands, The lightining flowed through me The spark filling my veins, Up and up till it reached my brain The hot glowing ember inside me, Reduced to ashes,as I lost his touch, He was the cause of fire,ripping me up, The cause of peace burning my tears, The cause of pleasure,healing all holes, And cue me leaving this place, Then gradually coming back for more, For I could not live without breathing the same air as he would Why would I even try?knowing that I never could. My life still revolved around him, He was special in my eyes, He made me want to be a better person, He made me want to care, To go far away from thieving and lies. Despite the fact that I made a fool out of me, And hurt myself everyday, It was a risk I would take, For I wanted him more than anything To keep him forever,for his as well as my sake. I wanted his fingers curled, Around my waist when we walk, My head on his shoulder, When we sit down to talk. I wanted the world tearing us apart, Lean and never to be seen, For this my friends is, Love when you're sixteen

How I miss my piano.

They took it away from me, my piano

Every move seemed so slow, yet so quick

My eyes ablaze with burning tears,

My state of mind reflected numbness with every flowing second…

Each petal I felt, whilst strolling in the garden

Reminded me of my keys on the piano,

Soft yet so pure, the touch felt blandly delicious

Struck me hard knowing it was long gone...

Every sound of music, was disturbingly sweet,

I heard it all the time, all around,

However, it took all of my heart to listen,

Cold nostalgia lingered in me for quiet a time…

What wouldn’t I give, to caress my fingers on my piano?

I missed the aura, which in the past had soaked me in with,

The aura of the proudest and satisfaction

Of playing the piano….

Therefore, this was how it felt, for one’s only desire to be denied,

I do not like it however, of

How I miss my piano.

Dream.

Trotting along the path

Filled with stones and pebbles

I looked up from my shoe,

As they were slightly crunching on the gravel..

I was shocked to find something,

Not anything, definitely not nothing but something

Like it materialized out of nowhere

Was a room which I had found rather inviting...

As curiosity won over me

i opened the door, my eyes scanning

Along the books that were stacked everywhere,

And I gasped, "Oh! My lord"

As i found books, books and books

My breathing hitched up,

Slowly realizing what had happened,

I found myself having a hint of a jump...

My heart thudding against my ribs,

My eyes turning bright,

My insides flipping somersaults,

As I soaked in the wonderful sight,

It was a dream,

A dream come true...

These things never happened to me,

Now as it did out of the blue..

After i picked out a book,

I settled down to a corner,

I wanted to read, read and read,

Till let’s say, forever...

Until i was afraid,

To close my eyes, afraid

that I would go as it had come,

For this was a dream,

From which i never wanted to wake up....

Life And Death.

As I watched the cotton clouds

Drifting away in the blue sky.....

I simply realized, I had never given much thought

To how I would die.....

I stood there staring hard and away,

My brain whirring,

Faster than the wind,

On summer's last day.....

Ah! It would be nice

If I died in the place of someone i love,

Of course the world was a ride...

But would I want that to end?

And then, I remembered them,

Whose blood runs through my veins?

My parents, whose care

Gave strength to my fragile body....

And it struck me

How beautiful life was,

I had to accept the obstacles,

And fight them till I see my last...

All of a sudden,

I wanted to appreciate my life...

To embrace it...

With my arms wide open...

Because with hurdles and such

Fun and excitement is laden...

This is my first serious poem. Of course I never saw a point in why I ever lived. But then it struck me. It was just a time pass. I mean. For once think about it... a person. As in one of a trazillion people in the world. When we cry thinking about a single mistake and make a big deal about it, say sitting cross legged in your room, drawing your curtains and having soft music, crying all over…thinking no one bloody loves me, no one bloody cares for me, no one’s going to give a damn about what I do, this is a turning point, my whole life is tragic, I am going to die soon and all this drama and more just because your mom did not allow you to wear mascara for a day..LOL...When I ever make a drama scene in my place. I wonder …I mean. God must be laughing rolling on the ground. Get it? All these waste drama. In my opinion I think we must live 60% for ourselves and 40% for others. Make the world a better place instead of googling methods of how to bloody kill yourself. Respect your parents and obey people who are worth obeying. Remembering that those who can’t obey cannot command.

The girl who loved football

                                                                Once there was a girl

Who instead of dancing or to twirl

Wanted to play football

Like the boys on the other side of the wall

Her mother said

Why don’t you sew or read in your bed?

Her father said

Why don’t you go and disturb mother while I drink

Two pints of mead!

Instead of giving up

She made her hopes jump

Until it bounced high and high

And she became more than any other guy

And than her spirits rose

So even if she tried it would never go down to her toes

Then she wanted to play in matches

Coz football was a thing in which she would never go less

She got a place in a team

This was her very dream

And when her dreams came true

She knew the only thing left to do

And it was that she wanted the world to know

What a girl could do if in her mind she had made that woe

And the world did

When they saw the teams she led

She led them to win

For winning is never a sin