Shades of Grey

Shades of Grey

Tonight, I pray.

I sat waiting,
Like the “me” you know, the “me” you’ve always known.
You asked me what I’d do if you didn’t come home.
I’d live alone.
I’d keep waiting.

For that’s all I do,
For that’s all that I can do if I want to keep holding on to you.
The situation you’ve put me in.
I wait for some love to breathe,
I wait for your voice to speak.

I don’t know what I’m doing,
You tell me you love me,
I don’t feel it,
Why don’t I feel it?
I’m still waiting.

The odds run around you,
Fate and destiny and all the other good luck charms too,
Hands on my head,
I fall hopelessly on to my promising bed.

At the end of the day,
As I wash my hands,
I wonder out loud about whether anything would change back into what we had a time ago,
As I wash my eyes,
I wonder whether, one day, I’d be able to unsee all the scenarios we carefully planned a time ago,
As I wash my ears,
I wonder whether I’d be able to scrub them clean of all the assuring lies you told me a time ago,
And finally,
As I washed my feet,
I wondered whether I’d be able to walk away from you.

I could, and I would if you do it too.

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