Shades of Grey

Shades of Grey

Some Wishes Are Best Not Granted


A wish I did not request was ‘Two great friends’

I did not know I needed them till I simply loved them

Tears they wiped and broken hearts they mended

Lucky I cherished them before my life ended.


A wish I did not regret was desiring.

Desiring to be loved by them.

Some wishes I was granted, others denied.

Yet, confusing, to them how happily and evetually I became a gem.


Then came a wish, I wish never happened.

A humiliating deed, An emabarassing story.

The purity of my innocent li’l heart blackened. Perhaps,

It was black already. I do not know. I was sorry.


I felt sad, offended and disappointed.

For I had done something I never do.

My friends were more sad, more offended and more disappointed

For they knew I did something I never tend to do.


And now, I feel most sad, most offended and most disappointed.

I cried myself to sleep saying,

I did not want to do it,I did not want to do it.

Stupid, Stupid Me.

Lonelines


I’ve had everything, I have everything

Shamelessly, I can’t help but say

I have nothing.


I’ve had everyone, I have everyone

And as stupid as it may seem,

I sense I’m alone, I’m in no team.


I wake up everyday from the dead,

(Do I?)
Wandering here and there...

Ignoring every instruction put against me

Helpless about what to be and what not.


Now, I think, a tissue is what I resemble

A weak object to be used and mercilessly thrown away,

Fingers crossed that ‘someone’ would come

And light the flames of hope in me,

For a brighter day.


I had to face ugly truths the hard way,

Difficult lessons at the worst.

And not one inch of anger or emotion in me...

One question is all I want answered.

Am I cursed?


Happiness is way out of proportion,

Depression, Guilt, Fury

I’d take anything as evidence.

Proof of that I’m alive.


I get freedom, I go out.

I travel, I ‘try’ to have fun.

Yet, I’m cooped up in me.

As in a well too high to climb out of.


As bad as my situation might seem to you,

I find it easy,

You see …..

Disappointment turned out to be pleasant for me.